Social Networking on The MarriageLease.com

I wanted to share something with the readers which only emphasize how common the marriage lease idea really is. As part of our strategy around building Communities, we are building a Social Network around The MarriageLease™.

The idea isn't to make it a "dating site" per se but rather a community where people can network around the concepts on marriage. They can agree, disagree, and sometimes agree to disagree but the end result is discussion.

I'm sure there will be the occasional girl meets guy who both think TML is a good idea. This will certainly be a new twist on relationships. This could simply be a meeting site for those who do not believe in full committal relationships for the long term. Hey, there’s an idea.

Stay tuned for Social Networking on TML!

Mark

Lease with an option to buy by Shadow Phoenix

Here's another interesting view on a marriage lease and associated finances. Shadow Pheonix's idea proposes that your individual assets merge over time depending on the success of the marriage. There's also some thought on what happens with the finances incase of a divorce prior to the time when the assets are completley and permanently combined.

Read more about this idea at: http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Leased_20Marriage

-J

Till Death Do You Part - Sembe’s Weblog

An interesting spin on the financial side of things as they relate to what Sembe calls a "5 year renewable contract". While Mark & I think that the MarriageLease should only be renewed once and then be a truly forever contract, Sembe proposes an interesting concept that could be part of an actual marriage lease.

Read more about Sembe's idea here: http://sembe.wordpress.com/2007/11/19/till-death-do-you-part/#comment-3

-J

New Site!EOM: Evolution of Marriage

Hi everyone, we're excited to announce that a new site has just gone live. It's called EOM:Evolution of Marriage and it's a place that will allow us to explore other subjects (beyond the marriage lease) in the Evolution of Marriage including same sex marriage, staying single and having a family, divorce, relationship support and more. Check it out at http://www.evolutionofmarriage.blogspot.com/

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Marriage Leases The Future of Wedded Bliss

Check out this article by Michelle Williams where she concludes: "In today's throwaway society, why not lease our spouses? Sooner or later, odds are we're going to get rid of them anyway, at least this way, it will be done with a lot less drama.In today's throwaway society, why not lease our spouses? Sooner or later, odds are we're going to get rid of them anyway, at least this way, it will be done with a lot less drama."

Read the full article here: Marriage Leases by Michelle Williams

But what about the Romance? (Part 3, Finale)

The MarriageLease™ Romance

Enter The MarriageLease. All of a sudden, The Forever Factor is not a factor because in this arrangement, forever is not a given and is explicitly eliminated from the equation.

You see, with The MarriageLease, there is a predefined and agreed to execution date for, well, basically for a prenuptial agreement. From the beginning, from the moment you both say “I do” you are fully aware that in 4, 5 or 7 years you will both be officially divorced from each other.

You will be Single.

Solitaire.

You will be alone in this world and not have a partner to lean on, take care of you when you are ill or help you make those tough choices that will forever impact your life. Most of all, you’ll feel really uncomfortable. You don’t realize it at the time, but by now you are accustomed to each other.

And you’ll become single without the typical ugliness involved with today’s divorces because you’ve already agreed to the arrangement as part of The MarriageLease.

This marriage will not be taken for granted. It is not going to last forever. You both have already agreed to the final outcome.

And you want it to last forever, don’t you? (At this point, imagine yourself on a couch and a fat man with a hairy beard oscillating a coin on a chain asking you that question. Yes it’s a bad thought but best you not to see a shrink to begin with. And yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition.)

Well then, you better keep working on it and ensure that you and your partner are completely and absolutely committed to the marriage. Committed to work on making this marriage last well beyond The MarriageLease. The jokes for what happens (or doesn’t happen) after the wedding night will no longer apply. These things will continue to happen if you want the marriage to work.

Seriously, isn’t this what marriage counselors all over the world tell the couples going through therapy as they desperately try to avoid divorce? Don’t they try and make you understand that you must work at the ‘relationship’? You must seek to understand each other and compromise in order to ‘make it work’. Even that statement has the “work” word.

This is no joke, it requires work. It’s just that, when we’re young and dreaming of marriages, families with 2½ kids and white picket fences with spot running around and a tire swing hanging from the old oak tree that no one person ever told us the reality of the situation: you must work at the marriage in order for the marriage to work.

So what about the kids? Well, if you’re that unsure about the marriage, try not to have kids before the lease is over and you’ve decided to stay together. Just some wise words… ;)

The MarriageLease ensures that both of you know, from the beginning, that this marriage will not work unless you both consciously decide to make it work. And, for many of us, making it work means working at keeping romance in the relationship. However you define romance is up to you and your partner. Regardless, you need to keep the romance in your marriage and keep working so your relationship lasts well beyond The MarriageLease.

The MarriageLease, like a prenuptial agreement, is not for everyone. Only you can consider if this is the right option for your marriage.

-J

But what about the Romance? (Part 2)

The Marriage Romance & The Forever Factor

Once married, many people seem to think that this means you will be together forever. In fact, this belief is so strongly a part of our culture that we ignore the divorce rates that are telling us otherwise. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimate that if current trends continue, 40-50% of marriages will end in divorce (see actual statistics at http://www.divorcerate.org/). What are we thinking?

There are countless numbers of jokes that highlight the effect of forever in a marriage. There’s this one where the man gets his last you know what on the night before his wedding because his wife won’t have to do it again after the ceremony and then there’s the one where the wife is complaining about the husband never taking her out on a date or doing anything romantic since they’ve been married.

Why do these jokes exist? Because we’re funny people? Maybe. Are they based on reality? Well, yes. For many, they are based on reality and make fun of what typically happens in a marriage. Why would one partner stop trying to make things romantic and generally stop trying after marriage? Well, it’s simple. If marriage is supposed to be forever why should I need to keep trying? We’re married now, you are stuck with me “for better or worse” so suck it up buddy! I actually heard the argument from the wife to the husband say, “Hey, you need to be nice to me because I’m still your wife!” Shouldn’t marriage be a product of love, not love a product of marriage?

Can you see the irony in this? It just doesn’t make any sense but aligns completely with human nature. I don’t think it has to be this way. In fact, we believe there must be a better way and The MarriageLease may just be that better way.

In the final part of this series we’ll explore The MarriageLease Romance